It’s About Damn Time For Some Constructive Criticism
The author of this short story even forced his date to read it, which, as if the piece itself wasn’t terrible enough on its own, is just adding insult to injury. At the very least, you should learn to organise your thoughts in a more masculine manner by separating them into distinct categories and compartments.
Waiting until you’ve had some time to get to know each other will give her the opportunity to form the reasonable assumption that you won’t let real life imitate fiction. In addition, the total number of pages is twenty, correct? If it had been written with a single space between each word, it might have taken anywhere from thirty minutes to an hour to finish.