We all know that weddings can be a stressful event for the bride, and sometimes it brings out the worst in them. The term “bridezilla” says it all. But in this case, it was the wedding that helped this stepfather come to his senses and make the right move.
This stepdad, who goes by the name Godzilla_moon shared on Reddit his story of disappointment with the people he thought were his family. After being a part of the family for over a decade, with the biological father mostly out of the picture, the stepfather happily offered to pay for his stepdaughter’s wedding. However, his girlfriend and stepdaughter didn’t reciprocate his generosity, and the whole thing exploded.
The “real” father
The word ‘real’ is key here, since you can hardly call the biological dad the real dad. According to the stepfather’s story, his stepdaughter’s biological father was never around for her, emotionally or financially.
He would come into her life and walk out of it just as fast, he wouldn’t help her mother with any child support, and wouldn’t take an interest in her whatsoever. Despite all that, the girl considered him her real father. She valued him and kept hoping he would be there for her someday.
A part of the family
The man and his girlfriend weren’t married, but they lived together in his house for over a decade. Throughout this period, he supported her daughter and her emotionally and financially, caring for every need.
Since the stepdaughter’s biological father was mostly out of the picture, coming and going as he pleases, leaving his daughter heartbroken every time, the stepdad felt, and acted, as her real father. In his Reddit post he describes himself as a “patriarch or godfather of the family, commanding great respect and sought out for help in times of need.”
Feeling like a part of the family, he wanted to make sure his stepdaughter never missed a thing. He fulfilled all his fatherly duties, such as paying for her college education and making sure she had a place to stay during college and after graduation, throughout this stressful period when you figure out your next move.
Part of that support included buying her a fancy car and funding her through college, so that she can focus on her education. Whenever she had anything missing, he stepped up to help – he cared for her as if she were his own daughter.
The wedding announcement
When the girl found her prince charming and announced her engagement, her stepfather was thrilled. Seeing as the biological father was again absent, he generously offered to pay for the wedding himself.
He was genuinely excited for her happy day, as any father would be. He even suggested hosting in his house an engagement dinner for all the in-laws to get to know each other. That’s when things started to go downhill.
An unpleasant surprise
Hearing about his daughter’s wedding, the biological father made an appearance. The stepdad wasn’t too excited about this, since he knew the girl would fall under his charm again. As stepdad recalls, he would only be there for the happy moments.
However, the ‘deadbeat’ father, as Godzilla_moon describes him, wouldn’t pay for the wedding expenses, so it was his responsibility, as has been the case for the past decade. The stepdad was happy to do so, but naturally, he expected to receive equal treatment from his girlfriend and stepdaughter.
It all went down at the dinner party held to celebrate the engagement. As if it wasn’t enough that he was attending the wedding, the bride-to-be announced that her biological father would be the one to walk her down the aisle.
The stepdad was more hurt than he was shocked. After all, he’s been a real father figure to her for the past decade, supporting her in all her big moments and paying for this wedding! Why shouldn’t he get to have the honor of walking her down the aisle?
The tip of the iceberg
The stepfather also learned that his girlfriend and stepdaughter didn’t respect any of his requests for the wedding. He asked to invite twenty guests, close friends and family, since the venue can host 250 guests. The bride and her mother said it was no problem, and he excitedly informed his friends of the upcoming event.
But to his surprise, upon meeting his friend on the golf course, he found out that he got an email notice that the wedding was taking place, but not an invitation. Apparently, none of his guests got an invitation, but only a notice about the ceremony.
That was his only request for the wedding, which he was funding, and it didn’t seem like too much to ask for. But his stepdaughter and her mother didn’t agree. After finding out that he wasn’t even the one to walk her down the aisle, he expected his stepdaughter to respect his only request.
More than he was raged, the stepdad felt personally offended. None of his family or friends were important enough to make the cut for the wedding, which was also a big day for him. After he already told them to save the date, he was feeling humiliated as well.
Below the belt
The stepfather later learned that not only were his close friends and family not invited, despite his request, but his name wasn’t even anywhere to be found in the wedding announcement. The guy asked his friend to show him the ceremony notice that he received, and saw that the biological father was mentioned, but not him.
He felt as if his involvement in the wedding, not to say in their lives, wasn’t acknowledged by neither his girlfriend nor his stepdaughter. After supporting them and funding them for over a decade, they wouldn’t even mention his name on the wedding notice.
Feeling confused and disrespected, he decided not to keep his feelings for himself and confront his girlfriend about this. His stepdaughter may have turned into a bridezilla, but he had hoped to get some common sense and support from his partner.
It turned into an ugly fight though when the woman sided with her daughter. Before, he was feeling angry and offended by his stepdaughter, but this fight made him realize that even his partner had no respect for him. He started contemplating his place in this family.
His girlfriend argued that 250 guests aren’t that many and there’s really no place for extra guests. She tried to please him by saying that if someone declined the invitation, his friends would be invited in their place.
He was paying for this entire event, and they couldn’t even respect his only request to squeeze in twenty of his guests? He couldn’t believe what he was hearing. In his Reddit post he wrote, “I don’t think I have ever felt so angry and so disrespected. I was shaking. I took a few seconds to gather my composure, because I honestly wasn’t sure if I would cry or start throwing punches or both.”
Getting his way
Inviting the biological dad without confiding in him, asking him to walk her down the aisle, ignoring his request to invite his friends and leaving him out of the wedding announcement – that was the last straw. That’s when the guy decided that he shouldn’t accept this treatment – if they didn’t consider him as family, he shouldn’t be the one funding this wedding.
He decided to give them a piece of his mind, at the worst possible moment. As far as he was concerned, the ‘real’ dad can pay for the wedding – if he wants to be there for the happy moments, he ought to carry some of the load.
At the dinner party where the announcement was made that the bride’s biological father was the one to walk her down the aisle, the stepfather planned on giving a speech and sharing with the crowd the injustice that he suffered.
He started his speech by congratulating the bride and groom and saying how happy he is that he got the chance to spend the past decade with his new family. When the crowd was enchanted by his words, that’s when he lashed out, saying he wasn’t going to pay for the wedding expenses.
No more mr. nice guy
It didn’t end there. On top of not funding the wedding, the guy announced that he wanted them out of his life, out of his house and out of his pocket. They didn’t see him as family, so he won’t be their godfather anymore. He wanted to cut them out of his life completely.
His decision was final, and the next day he canceled their joint account and asked the vendors of the wedding for refunds. It wasn’t his problem anymore.
Trying to make amends
Despite his girlfriend’s efforts to conciliate him, he wouldn’t budge. He knew she only wanted to be on good terms with him so that he would still fund the wedding. After years of spoiling them and providing for their extravagant lifestyle, he could finally see her real face.
Her argument reflected everything he already knew about her – she had the nerve to accuse him of ruining the wedding they had worked so hard on planning for the last six months.
After making up his mind and cutting off from his poisonous girlfriend and her daughter, he realized that he made the right choice. He got a copy of the wedding plan, only to find out that the music list was her biological father’s favorites, as well as the food, including ingredients that he’s allergic to.
That was the last proof he needed to understand that the people he considered his family for the past decade didn’t really care for him, but rather used him for his money. Throughout this entire process he experienced grief and anger, and now he no longer felt sad or sorry, but relived to know he made the right choice.
What did people have to say?
Sharing his story on Reddit, the comments Godzilla_moon received were at odds. Some sympathized with his situation and saw him as the victim of a gold-digger girlfriend, something many people can relate with.
Others were not so understanding, accusing him of being inconsiderate of his daughter’s feelings and overreacting in his response. Others said that he brought this on himself by spoiling his stepdaughter and girlfriend and manipulating them with money throughout the years.
The man was overwhelmed by the attention his story stirred. It became viral. Many people encouraged him, saying he acted bravely. As you can imagine, detaching from the people you shared a life with for the past decade isn’t an easy decision to make.
One user shared, “I had my dad and step-dad walk me down the aisle. I think my biological dad was a little disappointed but it was worth it to make my step-dad feel like he had a place in the family.” It’s all about finding the middle ground. True, this is the bride’s big day, but her parents are just as excited and emotional.
An injustice for women
The story also angered many women, claiming this makes all women look bad. The story of the gold-digger new girlfriend is one we all know, but women reading this Reddit post protested that this case doesn’t represent all women.
One woman commented, “as a woman, and as a mother, it shames me to see women acting like this towards someone like you.” This sense of shame was expressed in several comments to the story.
A selfish move?
As some Reddit users commented, and a thought that also crossed his mind, this might seem like a selfish move on the stepdad’s part. after all, walking down the aisle with your father is a tradition as old as times, and it seems only natural that the bride would prefer her biological father escorting her.
On the other hand, it wasn’t just about escorting her down the aisle. This wedding incident made the man realize that his position in the family is not what he used to believe – a godfather of the family – but simply a cash machine. Was he being selfish or doing the right thing – that’s for you to decide.
An expensive party
A wedding is an expensive business in our days, especially the one his stepdaughter had in mind. Her mother and her weren’t exactly humble, according to the stepdad. All the wedding expenses can amount to a sum of 40-50 grand.
Was it too much to expect the girl and her mother to show some gratitude? Instead, he felt like he got slapped in the face. He indicates in his post that he was shaking with anger and disbelief from their complete disrespect for him.
The bad news
Although he made the right choice eventually, it was a bit too late. The stepfather already payed for some of the wedding expenses, some of which couldn’t be refunded. He lost around 1,500$ since the wedding venue wouldn’t give him back the money.
Luckily for him, he withdrew the money from their joint account in the nick of time, otherwise he would’ve lost a lot more. He discovered that his girlfriend (ex-girlfriend by now) planned on writing herself a big check from his account.
The last straw
To his relief, his girlfriend and her daughter left his house, but not without taking some precious belongings, which were bought with his money. The man tells that his girlfriend hasn’t worked a day since they moved in together.
He couldn’t care less about the furniture though, he only wanted them out of his life. It took some time to get there, but this incident showed him their true colors and eventually he was in peace with his decision.
The bright side
Godzilla_moon later shared on Reddit that his ex-girlfriend and her daughter moved out of his house and moved in with her husband’s family. He was finally free from his endless commitments for them. He couldn’t really care how the wedding turned out.
Families are complicated, but apparently some more so than others. The (ex) stepdad was happy not to call himself a member of this family anymore. After the bride showed no respect or even gratitude for his generosity, he realized that he had no place in their lives.