Label Everything
Today is your coworker’s birthday. Whoopdy-freakin’-doo. Every day is someone’s birthday, and it just means that the coworker is one step closer to their death. So, what better way to remind them that they’re going to meet their maker pretty soon?
Hold a lame party without any creativity at all. Hang banners that read “banner.” Write “cake” on the birthday cake. Inside their card, write the date and how old the coworker is. Gift them a gift—not anything special, just a gift. This feels like a birthday party held on the Neutral Planet on Futurama.