Bidets are a product that has yet to attract a wide audience in the States. Why is it that people would rather wipe with TP than spray themselves clean with a bidet? Maybe it’s a sticking-to-what-we-know kind of thing, like how we won’t adopt the metric system. Anyway, in Japan, they take their bidets very seriously.
To listen to your favorite songs while sitting on the john, just connect your phone to the bidet via Bluetooth. Don’t want freezing cold water touching your sensitive parts? Turn on the heating function. If you don’t want to get caught in a tongue-on-the-flagpole situation, just crank up the seat warmer.