Windows Defender IRL
Get out of the way, security guards. Your services are no longer needed. We have a half a fence and low bushes that will stop burglars from getting into our home. We don’t know why we pay you good money to just sit around when we have this foolproof system to stop intruders in their tracks.

Wait a minute. What do you mean bad guys can hop over bushes? This picture of these two people is proof enough that this system works! Also, are those two manhole covers we spot on the driveway? What’s up with people’s fascination with multiple manhole covers in close proximity?!