Dude, Your Shirt
Why would you use a plate when you have a shirt? Shirts are the superior food delivery system since they sag under the weight of food, allowing you to pile more and more food on top of what you already have. For those that don’t know, we’re just kidding. Don’t do this. Ever.
Don’t be like the guy in this story, who, for some reason, decided to forgo using plates and went straight to filling his shirt with barbecue chicken wings. Dude, your shirt. It’s got BBQ sauce all over it. Why doesn’t that bother you as much as it bothers the rest of humanity?