It’s unusual for people to be so candid about it.
A “fail,” if this person is being generous, means that the outcome of the situation was catastrophic. When you realized you couldn’t get drunk, you went back to your gift and took money out of it. Is this the only reason you made a donation because of the promise of alcohol?
For the general public’s benefit, this person proudly displays his genitals in public. In the event that you happen to stumble across this and read it, I’m sorry. You have to understand that you are the story’s antagonist. The question is whether or not it’s a gift to have no beverages. If that’s the case, skipping the wedding will save the couple a lot of time.