The fatter, the better
This is probably the best listing ever. It totally appeals to our glutenous side, a side that our current job doesn’t completely satiate. This cake and desserts business is in dire need of a human cleaning machine. They have lots of scraps that go to waste, but they don’t have the heart to toss them out.
Your job is to consume all of the leftover food they can’t sell. The more you eat, the better it is for the company. You’ll also get paid to jam your gullet full of delicious, sweet snacks. Any health complications you experience after working here are entirely on you.